Day 9: Bit by a pit
Story: Yesterday after I dropped my kids off at school after riding the city bus with them. I wore my running gear so I could jog home afterward.
On the way, I had a pit-bull run at me. I thought it was the usual dog off a leash in Durham where they would chase me for a second then head back home.
This one didn’t. He actually bit the heck out of my leg. I called 911 so I could get a paramedic and so the police could check the dog out for a disease. I wasn’t really worried but I knew that it was probably the healthiest choice.
I decided to let them take me to the VA hospital where I go to get care sometimes.
Every time I go there I have a terrible experience. That’s what I’ve told myself and now expect that to happen.
As I was sitting there in the ER waiting room yesterday I got so impatient, anxious, and my mind started to picture the people working there treating me without compassion…like I told myself they would.
I was met with what I expected. The receptionist was short, impatient and passive aggressive with me. I was the same with him though. I expected everyone else to treat me the same but as I sat there I tried to increase my awareness of what I was feeling and why.
I came to the realization that I was re-creating my past experiences by expecting them to happen again.
When I got into the “patient room”, I sat there in silence clearing myself of these expectations and getting back to my calm, neutral place. This was hard because I had an open wound from a dog bite and I was completely alone.
I knew that I had to interrupt this mindset with a positive human interaction so I allowed myself to engage in some small talk with the nurse. She was amazing, funny, and a pleasure to chat with.
I was there for about 3 hours and was eventually told that I had to figure out how to get home on my own since I was brought there in an ambulance.
The funny thing is that I hadn’t been at the VA hospital for over a year and a half and I had an appointment scheduled yesterday to be there any way…that I had canceled the day before.
Lesson: There are a few lessons here that I learned. Like how connecting with others in a positive way gets me out of my head or that interruptions in our lives can be resilience builders. The one that stands out though is the crazy way the universe made sure I was at that hospital yesterday. I’m not totally clear as to why at this moment but I have faith that it was important so I’m accepting of what happened yesterday.
Action Step: If you’re “in your head” about something like I was…find another person around you to chat with about nothing. It can help you get out of your head and feel better.